Lohan in the House

The E! Network has green lit a new bastard reality series called "Living Lohan", a fascinating new program all about Lindsay Lohan's manager mother (her name be Dina) and aspiring performer of a little sister (the one they call Ali). The series will showcase little Ali's aspirations to greatness by attending an esteemed university, er, trying to break into movies and landing record deals. "Living Lohan" will join the ranks of other E! classics like "The Simple Life" and "The Girls Next Door". The excitement is palpable.

I see this and the instinctive, guttural reaction is to shake my fist towards the heavens and ask "why?", but before I am allowed my humble moment of self-superiority, that all-to-familiar sensation of sinking defeat sets in and instead I bury my face in my hands and cry softly.

When is Hollywood, and the general public for that matter, going to cease the shameless exploitation of drug-abusing, mentally unstable, affection-starved young women? I already know that answer and it is never. We are nothing more than sad, sickly and deprived ingrates when we stand by and watch as the pathetic are mined for entertainment's sake. Let us one day grow up and leave that world alone. Or at least turn off the E!.

Upon consideration of my words I realize that I myself am perhaps perpetuating this madness by giving it even the slightest significance and coverage. Some luck I'm already sobbing because of great shame!


Don't worry, Ms. Lohan; some day your prince will come.