Story Time! (or lazy filler episode)

There isn't a lot to say right now, so I thought I'd share a story from an earlier, now defunct blog:

Friday Bloody Friday

I made a huge mistake yesterday. Whilst perusing the pages of WiiGamer.com I came across a notice for a special at Toys R Us-- one that featured a Gameboy Micro at a drastically reduced price. It was a momentary lapse of judgement. Despite the
fact that it was almost midnight, I resolved to trek to the store in a scant four hours to retrieve my very own Gameboy Micro.



Little did I know the hell that would be unleashed.

As it turned out, when I arrived at my neighborhood friendly Toys R Us at 4:10 in the mornin' a group of over a hundred had already congregated. Their huddled masses should have been warning enough, but I decided to benture onward and I found my place in line. By the time the store neared opening at five o'clock, another two hundred lost souls had followed my lead and added their poundage to the queue. Many others hovered nearby like vultures, waiting for some poor soul to turn his attention elsewhere so that they might swoop in and claim a position near the sliding glass doors. It was a pitiful sight.

The clock strikes five. The crown twitches in fervored anticipation. A moment later a hulking assistant manager turns the kep and the doors are forced open by the clawing hands of ravenous mothers and frothing grandparents. Several employees are trampled, their fate unknown. I soon find my way into a store alive with the motion of bodies like some demonic wasp nest, barely disturbed by innocent hands but ready to lash out at any unsuspecting fool. I follow the shoddily constructed path to the video games section partitioned off by the fallen corpses of the weak and susceptible. Terrified by these hellish surroundings I hurriedly scan my surroundings for help. I spot a greasey hired hand and ask him what has become of the coveted Gameboy Micros. Much to my defeat, he announces with ominous inflection that they are gone. They are all gone.

I hang my head in shame as I exit the building and leave cess pool of activity behind me. I had failed and not only that, I had gotten up far too early to do so. The warning signs were clear: given my own work history with retail I had great knowledge of the common atrocities committed on Black Friday-- I knew of the evils it produced and the devils it spawned.

Looking back a day later and it is no small wonder that I escaped unscathed with my life. It is one mistake I vow never to repeat. I only hope that others can learn from my harrowing experience so that they might be spared similar depravity and sorrow. Let Black Friday to the hound as the bargains therein found are not worth the sacrifice of mortal soul to fiendish corruption.