I did it.

I can die in peace now.

I've seen Uwe Boll's cinematic masterpiece, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.


Look closely! Contrary to popular belief, tickets are indeed being sold for this movie film!

I did not dare make the journey alone for fear the film might literally disembowel me with it's greatness-- much as it did a man in Chicago mere days earlier. No, a good friend of mine was along for the ride. We figured the strength of two might protect us from a literal mind blowing experience, one so awesome it would result in instant death.


This employee most certainly had his mind blown.

Upon arrival, we immediately purchased tickets. With only forty-five minutes to spare, who could say if they were already sold out? Luckily there were at least two seats remaining in the auditorium. A tragedy had narrowly been averted.


I've got a golden ticket!

With tickets in hand, we set off to see the film. Would it be as good as we had hoped? Would it be all we had dreamed?


Is this the movie? No silly! it's America's favorite arcade past-time!

Rest assured, humble readers, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale: An Uwe Boll film production was everything we had hoped it would be. And more. Words cannot describe it. I wouldn't dare.

A review of this miracle film is forthcoming.