10,000 BC is a delightfully subversive indie rom-com about a drug-addled caveman and his wild quest for true love.
Scratch that. 10,000 BC is a bowl of crap.
Footnote: I loved it.
An explanation is in order. Several years ago I discovered I have a rare and difficult to cure illness-- that being the seemingly mad consumption and enjoyment of bad Hollywood movies. 10,000 BC feeds this disease with great doses of horrendous movie-making, effectively satiating my hunger for another week when the next batch of trunch hits projectors like a fury of locusts.
The movie is indeed about a caveman (played by Steven Strait, the main dude from The Covenant-- another gloriously retarded movie), only slightly more groomed than those good men of the Geico and sporting whiter teeth. After caveman's girl(Camilla Belle) is taken, he ventures out into the great unknown with Cliff Curtis to outrun massive, prehistoric dodos, make friends with at least three different African tribes and defeat an albino Marlon Brando straight out of The Island of Dr. Moreau. That not enough for you? There is also Battlecat from He-man, Xerxes' voice and a tall Deep Roy or Deep Roy's taller brother.
Do the math (by addition) and what do you get?. Magnificence. The point is, if you too suffer from secret-terrible-movie-lover-itis, you will find great delights hidden within 10,000 BC and its many mentally askew elements. It is at once a bonkers terror-show and a transcendent rush of slightly chilled arctic waters. It is both parts of the oreo, if both parts were made of octupus insides. It is non-sequiter and brilliant. It is 10,000 BC.
