AdVANTAGE: POINT -- Movie Review

Friday night I saw what just might be the best movie of 2008: Vantage Point.

What is Vantage Point you might ask? It is the directorial debut of television auteur Pete Travis who brought us-- what else-- television show episodes. Travis clearly honed his skills on the small screen because Vantage Point delivers up compelling, up close and personal drama in figurative spades.

Vantage Point is a taut political thriller that takes major risks. Told through multiple perspectives, the film centers itself around an attempted assassination of the American President, played wonderfully by Tom Skerritt. Where Vantage Point differs from similar cinematic offerings is in it's poignant and topical conclusion when the villains, a group of ambiguous Spanish terrorists, receive their comeuppance at the hands of a wayward little girl in search of her possibly exploded mother. The terrorists, having single handed annihilated hundred of U.S. government secret service officers, try to avoid hitting the girl with their stolen ambulance (an obvious geopolitical allegory) and roll the vehicle multiple times, killing it's evil occupants. The president, however, emerges the twisted wreckage unscathed (possible symbolism?) where he reunites with Denis Leary, a down and out former bodyguard, in tender embrace. The chilling, foreboding final words"Podus is in the hand" send theatre patrons back to their homes with a broadened perspective of the terrible plight of the peoples of the Sudan and some regions of the arctic.

All in all, Vantage Point was a fantastic experience and one that I easily and whole-heartedly recommend to anyone with a love for timely political drama.


President Skerritt delivers a rousing address to a heathen nation

Product Recommendation

I found a great new piece of software yesterday while perusing the shelves of a local Apple computer reseller (the computers of champions). It's called Animations Plus 3D 125,000 Animated Clipart (or quite possibly Animations Plus 125,000 3D Animated Clipart-- it's difficult to tell), brought to us courtesty of Animation Factory. Basically, Animations Plus 3D 125,000 Animated Clipart is a collection of over one-hundred thousand and another quarter of a thousand high quality animated pieces of clipped artistry and allows you, as the box promises, to "start using right away in popular software such as "Outlook", "Outlook Express", "FrontPage", Powerpoint" and "AOL".

The wide array of applicable uses isn't Animations Plus 3D 125,000 Animated Clipart only selling point. In fact, there are possibly dozens of legitimate reasons for purchasing a copy of Animations Plus 3D 125,000 Animated Clipart, many of which may in fact make you a better person or lead to you a life of sanctified religious devotion. For me, I like Animations Plus 3D 125,000 Animated Clipart because its crunchy. And it demonstrates some of the best three-dimensional computerized models and "animations" I have ever seen. One look at the exotic, beautiful woman dancing some exotic, beautiful dance on the box (containing the software) will have you shouting in a agreement: "Animations Plus 3D 125,000 Animated Clipart delivers on it's lofty promises and then some!"



I plan on returning to the store and purchasing Animations Plus 3D 125,000 Animated Clipart very soon.

The Meatball Cometh

A friend and I went out to eat last night. We wanted Italian, so we stopped by a local restaurant just before closing. The eatery appeared questionable (filled to the brim with unsavory family-type characters) but our waitress was fantastic. Not only did she accommodate our eccentric behavior, but she went the extra mile to make our dining experience that much more exciting. Case in point: this restaurant (which shall remain unnamed so as to protect a certain bonkers automobile/entertainment mogul) had an item on the menu that promised a supposedly monstrous meatball (the size of a small child). Given our somewhat contemptible history with falsely advertised meatball proportions, we were suspicious. Lo and behold, the waitress-- that good angel of the supper-- swooped down from her heavenly perch and provided respite by, get this, offering to take a picture of the purported giant ball of meat with my iPhone. Truthfully, we asked her to, but she went and did it nonetheless.



So great was this act of benevolence and unselfishness on the part of our dear and kind waitress that I promptly ordered the meatball and ate part of it and the spaghetti upon which it was nestled. Was it good? It was meatball.

The moral of the story: when thou art in great need and the powers of shadow and darkness conspire to ruin thy meal, thy waitress, good matron of the kitchen, shall set thee free from all foul menu hesitance.

Indiana Jones and OMG.

In case you haven't heard, the first trailer for Lucas/Spielberg's Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has been unleashed on the unexpected, yet feverishly dreaming masses.

In case you have been living under a rock, or even worse, eating rocks, Indiana Jones is the ongoing serial adventure franchise that follows a charismatic professor/adventurer on his daring exploits the world round in search of mythical ancient artifacts. Indiana Jones carries a whip and wears a fedora. He also kills Nazis. If you had to read this paragraph in order to familiarize yourself the character... then shame on you.

As for the trailer itself, it proves to be a slightly awkwardly edited reintroduction to the series we all know and love. I happen to love in ways more inappropriate, but that is besides the point. This film had better be fantastic or I'll have Lucas' head on a lightsaber.

Forget that; the head on the lightsaber thing would be kind of sick, seeing as it wouldn't stay. I'll just have a Gamorrean guard break his legs. Holy hellfire, I am such a nerd.

You can see the HD trailer here.

Writers Strike to end this week?

With regards to the ongoing writer's strike in Hollywood, this weekend has been a tumult of rumors and leaks that things are on the up and up. Supposedly the strike will end with the first of the week and writers may be back on duty as early as Wednesday.

Please, for the love of all that good and pure in the world-- like a newborn baby or a soft and cuddly lamb or kitten-- be true. Please be true.

The strike has been a frustrating necessity as the WGA has sought to negotiate fair dealings concerning online content profits and the like, and we the viewers have suffered greatly because of it. I mean, it had to happen, but when we get classy shows like Fat March and an American Gladiators comeback (Hulk Hogan in tow) we pray with earnest hearts that things are settled as quickly as possible and with a minimum of casualties. Hell, with some of detritus on the menu this year I'd practically beg for new episodes of Heroes. And that show stinks more than Ethan Hawke after a fun run. Maybe if we all hold hands and lift our voices to the sky in a unified chorus of desperate couch potatoes we can work some magic and ensure an end to the strike. Or at least annoy the neighbors (who just love the Singing Bee so they have it coming).

Now if they did a Fat American Gladiators, I might buy into that.


Meet TITAN, Fat Gladiator X-TREME... CHEESEBURGER!

The boat just became smaller.

Film and television actor Roy Scheider passed this weekend after a long and difficult bout with cancer. He is perhaps best remembered police chief Brody from director Steven Spielberg's sophomore blockbuster, Jaws. His filmography was varied and interesting and we have certainly lost a solid talent in the industry. Rest in peace, Roy.

Mom and the Carnage Monster

I took my mom to see Cloverfieldd today. I told her it was a romantic comedy.

Here's the strange thing: even after seeing the movie she still believes it is one.

A Kernel of Truth

"The greatest burden is that of great potential."
-Charlie Brown

My man Brown said that-- the quote up above. When he did, he spoke the truth.

Everyone of us has the inherent capacity for greatness. We are all able to achieve something beyond mediocrity and the status quo. So why is it that so few of us ever do? Why is it that when given the choice between the ordinary and the inspired, we make the uninspired, ordinary election? Because being plain is easy, holding back is light and sitting out is more than satisfactory. The sad fact is that doing something more, being something better, doing something grand is always and unfailingly more difficult. It required effort. It requires passion. It requires soul. And that, my friends, is the greatest burden of all.

Super Tuesday!

It is Super Tuesday everyone and you know what that means! Make sure to take a few minutes out of your hectic schedule to quietly reflect on your favorite caped crusader. Be it spandex-clad comic book heroine or silver screen, fly-by-night vigilante, every superhero deserves to be remembered on this very special day. Don't forget: without our chiseled, justice-serving guardians always looking out for us, we'd be lost in a world of megalomaniac billionaires and psychotic, vendetta-bent clowns. Thank you, benevolent protectors of righteous doing! On this fine Super Tuesday we salute you!

See here as our fearless friends drive back that merciless menace that is the giant squid.

Look at this. Taco Bell is one of the worst/greatest things ever made. The popular fast food chain delivers a unique food hybrid of Mexican originations and American sensibilities. Branded into oblivion with a myriad of edible buzz words and obtrusive packaging, it is lowbrow pop sustenance at it's finest.

The beauty of Taco Bell is that all of the food tastes the same, no matter what you get-- be it Chalupa, Grilled-stuffed Burrito or the Mexican Pizza. The secret is that every item on the Taco Bell item is a different shape and size. It's the defining factor of any organized menu separation. My personal favorite, the Crunch Wrap Supreme, is recognized by it's discus-shaped exterior-- a sort of frisbee meets bean and meat cake perfect for tossing at family parties and neighborhood picnics. A discerning eye will pick it out in the photograph above.

I recommend one and all visit their local Taco Bell food chain and have at the magic. It's one of our good nation's most endearing hallmarks and a grand testament to our cultural achievements.


What did I tell you? Different shapes!


At the end of the day, we have the comfort and security of always knowing exactly what we're going to get: white stuff filled with brown stuff.

Movie of the Update: Sunshine

I meant to see this in the theatre, but it's theatrical run was so short I didn't really have the chance. Now that Sunshine has finally hit DVD, I thought I'd peep the flick and let you know what I thought.

Sunshine, directed by Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 28 Days Later) is set in the distant (or not too distant-- perhaps in-between?) future where our solar system's sun is slowly dying and the destruction of earth and it's inhabitants is eminent. Of course, this is a movie film and that means the nations of the planet and bandied together a crack team of brilliant and handsome astronauts and scientists to resolve the conundrum by flying within a reasonable distance of the star and lobbing a massive bomb into it's core, reigniting the sun and hopefully saving all of mankind. It is a completely unfeasible, ridiculous and scientifically absurd plot.

And yet, it works in a lot of ways. First of all, I'm kind of a sucker for these kinds of films-- stuff like Alien and uh, well, Alien. Even Sphere, a mostly terrible film, has it's moments. I just get a kick out these claustrophobic ensemble pieces that marry crazy science fiction with interesting characters. Sunshine delivers both. Danny Boyle did a fine job putting together an interesting cast of character actors and relatively familiar faces including Cliff Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, Cillian Murphy, Rose Byrne and Hiroyuki Sanada. Even Chris Evans of Fantastic Four fame shows up. My only real complaint regarding the cast would be that we really don't get to know any of these characters very well. There are hints and suggestions of interesting material speckled throughout (I wanted to know more about Dr. Searle) but that's about it.

A little over halfway through the movie things derail just a tad with a plot contrivance rather common to these kinds of shows, but it's not enough of a deal breaker so as to spoil the fun. Danny Boyle, whose previous directorial offering of 28 Days Later reinvented the Zombie sub-genre, doesn't revolutionize the psychological things-go-horribly-awry science fiction film, but he does contribute a solid, entertaining entry. If you are a fan of Danny Boyle, science fiction escapades, or pretty digital effects trickery, definitely check it out because when Sunshine works it shines.

I think I just made myself ill.


As much as I enjoyed Sunshine, I'm especially looking forward to it's hotly anticipated sequel: Moonshine, in which Burt Reynolds and a resurrected Scatman Crothers lead a team of expert basement brewers and distillers on an epic outer-space quest to stop the man on the moon from drinking all of their hooch. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo expected to direct.

The Best Digital Computer Technology for the Video Television Games of the Year 2007!

We've just embarked on the grand adventure that is February 2008, so I figured it's high time I remarked on my favorite video games of 2007. Much to the delight of children and men with peter pan syndrome everywhere, 2007 was a very good year for console gaming. Here are my top three games of the year, in absolutely no particular order (I promise).



Pac-Man C.E.
Pac-Man exists at a peculiar crossroads in the electronic gaming world. It is both accessible to the masses with it's simplistic gameplay (requiring only one steady hand on the joystick to navigate the Pac around his labyrinthian prison) and accepted by the diehards with it's increasingly challenging gameplay as the speed picks up and ghostly pursuers inch closer. Pac-Man C.E. doesn't attempt to reinvent the mechanics of arcade's earliest icon; instead, it compliments them with a few tweaks (including a timer and constantly changing mazes) and by doing so makes it about a billion times better. Didn't think it was possible? Believe.



Super Mario Galaxy
Every once in a great while, a game comes along to remind you why you ever started playing them in the first place. Super Mario Galaxy is one such title, at once a love letter to the founding mascot of modern console video games and a sort of drugged up, euphoric nirvana; a digital kaleidescope of colors and shapes you might want to pluck from the screen and pop into your mouth like sweet, sweet candy.



Bioshock
This is the reason I bought an Xbox 360. For the uninitiated (and shame on you if you aren't), Bioshock tells the story of Rapture, a fallen utopian society built on very Ayn Rand philosophies of culture and commerce, and weaves an intricate story of deceit, moral ambiguity and the depths to which man might fall if consumed by the things that drive him. Developer 2K Boston/Australia created something quite spectacular with Bioshock, a hybrid of first person, adventure and role-playing genres that serves as a sort of spiritual sequel to Irrational Games previous experiment in fear, System Shock II. Rapture is a joy to explore-- an awesome amalgam of art deco, 1940's architecture and steam punk technology. From the very first minutes of the game and long into the twisting narrative, gamers will be enthralled as they uncover the secrets of Rapture and fall in love with this decrepit, broken and beautiful world.


There were other games I had fun with in 2007, but it was these three that I kept coming back to over and over again. Will 2008 offer up similarly excellent selections? Only time will tell.

Feeling glum?

Quick note: If you are looking for a solid motivation for suicide, see Ari Gold's Adventures of Power. It helps!